Emotional-diarrhea

She felt her hands shudder, little ripples of fear,  -no thrill vibrated through her long arms,  as she pulled her t-shirt above her head.  Cool air swept her  - snare;  she watched the cold mirror in chilly silence.  Her small frame that was once that of a child,  morphed into a young woman's.  When had her sides grown into hips?  when had her chest blossomed from seeds? When did her new body arrived - and why hadn't she noticed before?  Gentle strokes felt her in new-found awe and disbelief.  This was her.  A giggle escaped her petal like lips  before she could cover her face . Shy little girl,  phone in hand.  He saw what she hadn't . New feelings,  New make.  Could she trust the new blue eyes  that longed to see  what she was hiding beneath?  - Flash.  Send.  She would never be whole again.

FADED You won't be there. I can see your shadow drift in plain sight Like a fading moon Escaping from the night Your embrace I feel it lift Off my shoulders bare Leaving a sunken impression On the skin I wear Like a fleeting decision conscious I'd hear the water run dry The room will soon elude Sucked into an oblivion Ceased will be the tension In a world so cold -Where is the space For loves grace?

It crept through my skin and caught me unaware Foreign were my emotions Yet I knew what I wanted - His deep voice and unnerving stare His calm undertones- vibrating -            the still, open air, Everything went out of focus And froze with no motion ‘Cept his familiar frame Calling out my name Guiding me out-               of the tunnel darkness I was lost in Like a beacon of reason He defied human nature When he saw beauty In my dying ember. He ignited what was remained-                  with his cheeky grin and cheesy sincerity He swept me off my feet, He is an ocean of kindness People often fail to see His magnitude - when they cross his waters He harbors me; day in and day out  Filling in my wounds with laughter Reminding me it gets better And when he’s near I feel a million needles pi...

She slept in his shadow, waiting for the day he’d take pride in holding her embrace. She had evoked foreign feelings in him, that left him longing for more- yet iron reins bridled his affections and held him back from acting out . Swerved, by end less tales and remarks, woven by the simple and the loud about his lover, he was constrained,-  he was hesitant . He was ashamed, he was afraid, of the stains her past would make on his clean, white slate. “do you think they’d be disappointed in me when they find out about you and I,” he had asked her one day- she smiled to herself humbly- never  feeling as worth less as she felt now. She hummed to her ailing spirits, tracing the open wound he had inflicted upon her, with tender fingers. Stroking the ache gently, she began accepting the sullied face and conclusion of herself  everyone else saw. Maybe she wasn’t who she thought she was. Maybe the jagged remarks they made were her truth. Obviously – even he couldn’t see past it , ...

Suddenly, the world it comes, alive; like everything is in high definition. My senses become abnormally receptive to every sound, every movement, around my static form. I have never felt so awake. Overly lucid, it’s as if I am dreaming, floating in a constellation of raw stimulus. Subzero waves engross me, warping my entire frame like a clear blanket of electrifying clarity; I’ve been clad in naked finery. Replenished are my ambitions, revitalized are my visions. I feel a strange, eccentric sort of metallic adrenalin creep through my veins. The sounds of the world embrace me in unison, echoing in formation of a tunnel;- a pathway, - destiny , set especially for me.   A simple word, ignited this rejuvenation, this uprising. I am brand new. The scars of yesterday don’t faze me, they seem alien to me; I’ve been subject to selective amnesia to which I feel no sorrow. I thought I’d lie lifeless at the bottom of the sadistic ocean in which you drowned me ; I lost hope of ever...

I used to look up to you once upon a time. Everything you did seemed magnified to me at one point. You were like family, though not bound by blood or lust, I felt a connection to you. You were so noble, problems never drowned you, and you did it all. You were the image of a human balance scale. You were my own hovering eagle, predicting my pitfalls with each decisive pathway that laid in store for me; you were my left hand man, mapping the best routes for me because you ‘cared’; or so I presumed . Why else would one spend time guiding another without any sort of genuine affection towards that particular other; right ? I looked up to you. Right or wrong, I was on your side . In the ghetto lingo you were used to; - I was your ‘ dawg ’ and you were mine. What baffles me is how wonderfully, you were able to muster that overwhelming level of deceptiveness, and conceal it with a blanket, you warped around you so, tightly with, no holes in its iron seams. The inner you never depar...

Run away with me, To an oasis, far beyond Imagination and futile human comprehension, Hand in hand, We’ll be the modern day Bonnie and Clyde, Wrecking havoc in a world yet to be found, You with your humor - -Me in response Head thrown  back, laughing Like the world was not ‘my oyster’- But ‘ours’ instead . Exploring the crevasses No soul bore witness to before We’d be adventurers You and I, In synchrony .         -And if you get tired I’ll be your barricade, Your stone heart warrior, Sheltering you from reality, drawing you back. And oh the drums will beat raw; Parallel to the resonating thumping of our youth- We’ll be alive you and I We’ll LIVE you and I The Senseless Happiness within us, will thrive! -So babe; run away with me?            

I’m tired of the symbols   that were stamped on my head The moment   air flowed through my chest I'm sick of the comments my life has to endure Just because I'm a woman and considered nothing more I’ve been judged for my appearance And choice of friends I’ve been labelled like an object A tool in shed But enough is enough For I am not a cog I will succeed I wont retire Punch by punch I will show them my fire My passion, my energy, what I’ve got to give For I am not object Of any mans will. They thought me weak But they thought wrong For I will rise   I will survive Through the darkness and tyranny of times Through the turmoil and through their lies I am a woman and I was born to LIVE Not to be a sacrifice . I wasn’t meant for the kitchen I was meant to be loved , To be cherished To be accepted To be seen as an equal Not to be flattened To be trampled To be disrespected . Enough is enough. I am a woma...

Thirst not Amish Chemicals fuelling lust Destructive, selfish Prone to human touch Carnal contradiction bewilders souls An insanity,   wreck less wild Like a cyclone; it destroys the child The child’s mind;   the child's perception Stains his vision Enables his transgression Like a cyclone erratic A phantom seduced Blind to the markings He inflicted, and produced.

He breaks your heart, He makes your efforts seem in vain. You’re shattered .You’re bitter. You wonder why. Slowly you find yourself turning the dials of blame toward yourself . Shocking? Believe it. Its happening. ‘What did I do wrong ?’ You find yourself say, ‘could I have saved us from breaking’ , ‘could I have been better” , “should I have said something different?” . Self hate. You mourn . You mourn for the hours you’ve wasted ,the long tear-soaked nights you spent in your bed, and the hours you waited for his call. The money you saved for his expense, you weren’t much of a saver butsuddenly you had to impress. You think its sounds petty but the little you got you know you wanted to spend on a token of some sort for his pleasure. Slowly the time you spend with yourfriends decline, every hour became precious; you think they’d understand yet you’ve soon become alienated. Away from social norms. Totally devoted. You laughed when those closest to you pointed it out. You didn’...

CONFLICTED   Callously drops of rain   Fell upon the windowpane Slithering down as if in a race. Fixated, I stare at their platonic Sync.   Endlessly voices chatter; Humdrum and persistent. Building up, Building up, Faster And faster; Into a stentorian shrill   Piercing me ,             Flinging me into a deafening madness   Be still - I scream Be still.   The ground beneath me Is constantly wavering I infinitely loose my footing             And plunge down, A sinister hollow swells in the pit of my center, Gaining expanse,             Deeper my vessel sinks Low.     If only it paused in suspension; If only my strings of thought Suddenly came apart,     ...