Emotional-diarrhea

Suddenly, the world it comes, alive; like everything is in high definition. My senses become abnormally receptive to every sound, every movement, around my static form. I have never felt so awake. Overly lucid, it’s as if I am dreaming, floating in a constellation of raw stimulus. Subzero waves engross me, warping my entire frame like a clear blanket of electrifying clarity; I’ve been clad in naked finery. Replenished are my ambitions, revitalized are my visions. I feel a strange, eccentric sort of metallic adrenalin creep through my veins. The sounds of the world embrace me in unison, echoing in formation of a tunnel;- a pathway, - destiny , set especially for me.   A simple word, ignited this rejuvenation, this uprising. I am brand new. The scars of yesterday don’t faze me, they seem alien to me; I’ve been subject to selective amnesia to which I feel no sorrow. I thought I’d lie lifeless at the bottom of the sadistic ocean in which you drowned me ; I lost hope of ever...

I used to look up to you once upon a time. Everything you did seemed magnified to me at one point. You were like family, though not bound by blood or lust, I felt a connection to you. You were so noble, problems never drowned you, and you did it all. You were the image of a human balance scale. You were my own hovering eagle, predicting my pitfalls with each decisive pathway that laid in store for me; you were my left hand man, mapping the best routes for me because you ‘cared’; or so I presumed . Why else would one spend time guiding another without any sort of genuine affection towards that particular other; right ? I looked up to you. Right or wrong, I was on your side . In the ghetto lingo you were used to; - I was your ‘ dawg ’ and you were mine. What baffles me is how wonderfully, you were able to muster that overwhelming level of deceptiveness, and conceal it with a blanket, you warped around you so, tightly with, no holes in its iron seams. The inner you never depar...

Run away with me, To an oasis, far beyond Imagination and futile human comprehension, Hand in hand, We’ll be the modern day Bonnie and Clyde, Wrecking havoc in a world yet to be found, You with your humor - -Me in response Head thrown  back, laughing Like the world was not ‘my oyster’- But ‘ours’ instead . Exploring the crevasses No soul bore witness to before We’d be adventurers You and I, In synchrony .         -And if you get tired I’ll be your barricade, Your stone heart warrior, Sheltering you from reality, drawing you back. And oh the drums will beat raw; Parallel to the resonating thumping of our youth- We’ll be alive you and I We’ll LIVE you and I The Senseless Happiness within us, will thrive! -So babe; run away with me?            

I’m tired of the symbols   that were stamped on my head The moment   air flowed through my chest I'm sick of the comments my life has to endure Just because I'm a woman and considered nothing more I’ve been judged for my appearance And choice of friends I’ve been labelled like an object A tool in shed But enough is enough For I am not a cog I will succeed I wont retire Punch by punch I will show them my fire My passion, my energy, what I’ve got to give For I am not object Of any mans will. They thought me weak But they thought wrong For I will rise   I will survive Through the darkness and tyranny of times Through the turmoil and through their lies I am a woman and I was born to LIVE Not to be a sacrifice . I wasn’t meant for the kitchen I was meant to be loved , To be cherished To be accepted To be seen as an equal Not to be flattened To be trampled To be disrespected . Enough is enough. I am a woma...

Thirst not Amish Chemicals fuelling lust Destructive, selfish Prone to human touch Carnal contradiction bewilders souls An insanity,   wreck less wild Like a cyclone; it destroys the child The child’s mind;   the child's perception Stains his vision Enables his transgression Like a cyclone erratic A phantom seduced Blind to the markings He inflicted, and produced.

He breaks your heart, He makes your efforts seem in vain. You’re shattered .You’re bitter. You wonder why. Slowly you find yourself turning the dials of blame toward yourself . Shocking? Believe it. Its happening. ‘What did I do wrong ?’ You find yourself say, ‘could I have saved us from breaking’ , ‘could I have been better” , “should I have said something different?” . Self hate. You mourn . You mourn for the hours you’ve wasted ,the long tear-soaked nights you spent in your bed, and the hours you waited for his call. The money you saved for his expense, you weren’t much of a saver butsuddenly you had to impress. You think its sounds petty but the little you got you know you wanted to spend on a token of some sort for his pleasure. Slowly the time you spend with yourfriends decline, every hour became precious; you think they’d understand yet you’ve soon become alienated. Away from social norms. Totally devoted. You laughed when those closest to you pointed it out. You didn’...

CONFLICTED   Callously drops of rain   Fell upon the windowpane Slithering down as if in a race. Fixated, I stare at their platonic Sync.   Endlessly voices chatter; Humdrum and persistent. Building up, Building up, Faster And faster; Into a stentorian shrill   Piercing me ,             Flinging me into a deafening madness   Be still - I scream Be still.   The ground beneath me Is constantly wavering I infinitely loose my footing             And plunge down, A sinister hollow swells in the pit of my center, Gaining expanse,             Deeper my vessel sinks Low.     If only it paused in suspension; If only my strings of thought Suddenly came apart,     ...