Am I crazy

 


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Fate:

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I've let things go,  Usually to spare them from myself. Like the wave retreating back from the shore, I've let things go despite wanting to stay.  I've learned to unplug myself, as painful as it can be, like a limb being torn away from a wounded body . I've learnt to hide my pain and disappointment, And I've labelled it 'Fate'. So every time I broke away from someone dear to me,  I said to myself it was 'Fate',  that spared my loved one from me. I've heard my mouth speak the words  "I'm happy for you" with a painted smile across my face ; half smiling , half laughing- laughing at my 'Fate ' .
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run away with me?

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Run away with me, To an oasis, far beyond Imagination and futile human comprehension, Hand in hand, We’ll be the modern day Bonnie and Clyde, Wrecking havoc in a world yet to be found, You with your humor - -Me in response Head thrown  back, laughing Like the world was not ‘my oyster’- But ‘ours’ instead . Exploring the crevasses No soul bore witness to before We’d be adventurers You and I, In synchrony .         -And if you get tired I’ll be your barricade, Your stone heart warrior, Sheltering you from reality, drawing you back. And oh the drums will beat raw; Parallel to the resonating thumping of our youth- We’ll be alive you and I We’ll LIVE you and I The Senseless Happiness within us, will thrive! -So babe; run away with me?            
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I'm quite sad today. I'm sad most days. All I really long for is true companionship every step of the way. While that's not a practical desire and I know I can do without it - its a desire nonetheless... I don't consider myself a clingy person...At least I hope I am not. I would never want to burden someone like that, suffocating them. I just wish I was longed for, as I long for him. I wish he reciprocated that longing in some way sometimes. I know he has a lot going on and it's unfair for me to wish he was here all the time, but, I can't help but miss him. My heart feels raw missing him. It makes wishful for the future... I'm hopeful I'll see more of him InshaAllah, when we live together inshaAllah.. I really value spending time with him... A few hours with him instantly make me happy. He makes me happy. I guess that's why I want to see more often... He often asks me why I keep getting him things, or writing him long verses. He seems overwhelmed wh...
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