I'm quite sad today. I'm sad most days. All I really long for is true companionship every step of the way. While that's not a practical desire and I know I can do without it - its a desire nonetheless... I don't consider myself a clingy person...At least I hope I am not. I would never want to burden someone like that, suffocating them. I just wish I was longed for, as I long for him. I wish he reciprocated that longing in some way sometimes. I know he has a lot going on and it's unfair for me to wish he was here all the time, but, I can't help but miss him. My heart feels raw missing him. It makes wishful for the future... I'm hopeful I'll see more of him InshaAllah, when we live together inshaAllah.. I really value spending time with him... A few hours with him instantly make me happy. He makes me happy. I guess that's why I want to see more often... He often asks me why I keep getting him things, or writing him long verses. He seems overwhelmed when I show him love that way... I honestly don't mean to overwhelm him. I use every opportunity I get to do something that might show him I love him because we barely spend time with other consistently... And I compensate for the time we don't spend together, in those fleeting moments when we do see each other... I do for him what I always envisioned doing for 'the one'. The depth of my feelings for him do make me inclined to believe he is the one... He doesn't like anything 'over the top', he says he wants a relationship where things don't require any effort and just come naturally. I guess I have trust issues believing someone can love somebody else unfaltering without any effort what so ever. I don't think I artificially put effort into our relationship... whatever I do comes naturally to me... I don't expect him to do the same... I just honestly enjoy spending time with him the best. I feel very secure and happy when we are together. I get insecure when we spend time apart. because he doesn't like texting or being on the phone I become very aware of how much time we haven't seen each other for... And while I know he loves me, I get insecure of how he must feel toward me... My trust issues are real lol.
I'm quite sad today. I'm sad most days. All I really long for is true companionship every step of the way. While that's not a practical desire and I know I can do without it - its a desire nonetheless... I don't consider myself a clingy person...At least I hope I am not. I would never want to burden someone like that, suffocating them. I just wish I was longed for, as I long for him. I wish he reciprocated that longing in some way sometimes. I know he has a lot going on and it's unfair for me to wish he was here all the time, but, I can't help but miss him. My heart feels raw missing him. It makes wishful for the future... I'm hopeful I'll see more of him InshaAllah, when we live together inshaAllah.. I really value spending time with him... A few hours with him instantly make me happy. He makes me happy. I guess that's why I want to see more often... He often asks me why I keep getting him things, or writing him long verses. He seems overwhelmed when I show him love that way... I honestly don't mean to overwhelm him. I use every opportunity I get to do something that might show him I love him because we barely spend time with other consistently... And I compensate for the time we don't spend together, in those fleeting moments when we do see each other... I do for him what I always envisioned doing for 'the one'. The depth of my feelings for him do make me inclined to believe he is the one... He doesn't like anything 'over the top', he says he wants a relationship where things don't require any effort and just come naturally. I guess I have trust issues believing someone can love somebody else unfaltering without any effort what so ever. I don't think I artificially put effort into our relationship... whatever I do comes naturally to me... I don't expect him to do the same... I just honestly enjoy spending time with him the best. I feel very secure and happy when we are together. I get insecure when we spend time apart. because he doesn't like texting or being on the phone I become very aware of how much time we haven't seen each other for... And while I know he loves me, I get insecure of how he must feel toward me... My trust issues are real lol.
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